“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis B. Smedes

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” –
Lewis B Smedes
I remember one time when someone I cared very much about hurt me. This person accused me of doing the very thing I had worked so hard to prevent. It threw me for a loop, and I felt so unjustified. How does anyone have a right to judge us when they don’t know all the details in another person’s life? I couldn’t sleep for days as the scenario went round in my head. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round going so fast I couldn’t get off it. That’s what hurtful things do to us, causing our blood pressure to go up and the symptoms that come with stress. You cannot fight or reason with someone in your head, and the only way to stop the merry-go-round was to begin the process of forgiveness. It started with forgiving myself for not living up to my own expectations. Even though I felt like the victim of an unjust accusation, I realized it was about how hurt they felt too. I needed to be free of all the anxiety. The whole ordeal created so much stress I choose to put it all behind me by apologizing for my part and forgiving them for how they hurt me in turn. I felt like a huge burden was lifted off me. Still, it took a long time to build back up what the hurt had damaged between us. It always takes time for an injury to heal.
Reflection: When we cannot forgive, we not only hold the person bound, but we hold ourselves bound as well. It’s like cancer that grows inside, destroying us from the inside out. The power to free me was always in my hands. I could choose to keep picking the scab of pain or heal it with the sab of forgiveness.