Monthly Archives: June 2020

Whac-A-Mole

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Sometimes I feel like the mole in the whac-a-mole game. I pop up with my positivity, and the whacker bangs their hammer down on my head. I pop back up from another hole spreading hope, and down comes the hammer, I pop up from another hole offering kindness, and down comes the hammer, bang! Bang! Bang! The whacker whacks away at me, trying to make me disappear, but up from another hole do I appear. It’s love I am offering, and it’s more powerful than your fear. If you’d stop and listen, just once to hear…the change you want might begin…right here.

Tripping

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You might think I’m tripping by the time you get done reading this. Lol

Honestly, I’ve never tripped on anything in my life except maybe a rug or step.

I haven’t been in the best frame of mind lately! A friend of mine was kind enough to call and ask how I was doing with all the stuff that’s been going on. I sometimes forget that I put my life story out there for people to read, and what’s happening now very much reflects that time in my life. Even though I see the similarities, I didn’t think I was feeling any worse than the rest of us, but maybe I am. What’s hard is this feeling that you can’t say what you think or feel without offending someone. It seems that everybody is right and nobody is wrong. It’s someone else’s fault for the things that are done to us; therefore, you have to change your ways, but not I.

I wonder where I would be today if I still held so much hate inside. If I had never forgotten the wrong that was done to me? What would I be like today if I hadn’t forgiven? I remember when I decided I didn’t want to be a victim anymore. It was the most freeing moment of my life. But when the triggers of life’s events come flooding back, so do those old familiar feelings. I keep having this overwhelming need to cry, and as soon as I feel tears coming on, something shuts down the flood gates, and everything becomes bottled up inside. Somewhere along the way of these trying times, I must have put that protective armor back on that my therapist often talked about that keeps me from falling apart.

I have lots of tools I’ve gathered along the way. Being in nature is one of them, listening to music, going for a walk. Today I decided to dance and have my own Woodstock experience. I put one of Tom’s old albums called “In A Gadda Da Vida” on the record player and danced myself into a big smile. How could I not smile thinking of my 67-year-old self with my hair pulled back in a bun, and my old lady ”mu mu dress,” dancing away all my troubles and feeling the energy of life’s goodness seeping back into me? It was a trip worth taking, and it didn’t take any funny pills to get there.

I am grateful for the people who reach out, the things I have learned along the way, and the tools I’ve gathered that help bring me to a better place. It takes effort to get off the ground of pain and sorrow, but once you start dancing the change begins to happen and you realize, that change can only begin when your ready to start dancing for yourself.

http://www.amazon.com/author/connierife

The Promise by Connie Rife

Standing Out Among The Many

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Science if Mind Magazine June 2020

A few days ago, when I got up to let my dog Lucy out at 5:00 in the morning, I saw a lone bird sitting on a wire. It was perfectly in my eye shoot between two trees with the light of the day beginning to shine behind it. It was singing it’s heart out, trying to be heard above all the other chirping birds. I felt the thrill of grace filling me up as I took in the gift of the moment. It was as if this one little bird was serenading me, but as soon as I focused on that one bird that was giving me a moment of joy. All the other birds began to chirp louder. I usually love the songs of the birds singing in unison, but trying to focus on this one bird in front of me made all the other birds sound noisy and disruptive. Kind of the way life has felt lately.

It was as if I was seeing a reflection of myself sitting on the line trying to sing a song of hope to the world. Trying to create warm and fuzzy feelings during a cold and prickly time in our lives. The thing is no one can hear anything when everyone is shouting at the same time. No one can hear if we don’t stop to listen.

I put aside what I wrote that morning about the lone bird on the wire. All the loud chirps of dismay and disillusionment over powered a simple song of hope. As I put my hopeful thoughts aside, a few day later I came across the picture above I share with you. There it is again that lone bird on a wire standing out among the many. I’m challenged by the quote that dares me to let my true Soul sing.

As long as there is life there will always be hope. I know because I experienced it in my own life. The song I sing that sounds so beautiful with combined voices, comes from the prayer of St. Francis, “Let There be Peace on Earth…and let it begin with me.”

Dare to let your true Soul sing, today!

Creating Joy

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Sometimes the events in our life really knock us down. It’s easy to feel lost and unsure of where we left off once we’re able to get back to living our life again. Something feels changed in us and we wonder how that’s going to affect the purpose and passion we had before this all happened. It seems like a great time to re-evaluate what we are doing. What is that purpose? What is the intention I hope to create from it? And do I still have the passion to keep moving in that direction? These are the questions I’ve been asking myself as I try to get refocused.

My favorite prayer was one introduced to me by my dad.

In the book, The Way of Serenity by Father Jonathan Morris, writes:

“It’s all About Joy”

“Everyone needs a reason to hope, and what gives us greater joy then to know we are loved. Seeing true joy in another person allows us to believe that joy is possible and attainable. In this way joy can even be contagious. It can spread beyond ourselves and make other people’s lives just a little bit more joyful too*.”

The world can be full of so many things that strip away our joy. It seems like we are always being pulled into the disillusionment that fear, hate and judgment creates. Some of us are meant to be the warriors who fight the good cause, and some of us are meant to keep that joyful hope alive as a reminder that it does indeed still exist, creating hope. Yes, to know we are loved is the greatest joy, but to show that love for others is what builds upon the very love we crave for ourselves.

Why not tell someone you love them today, and take part in the contagious joy it creates?

*Chapter 15 page 88 The Way of Serenity by Father Jonathan Morris

I Don’t Know!

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”There’s something happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear!” -Stephen Stilli

We can truly never understand what it’s like to walk in someone else shoes until we’ve actually experienced what they have for ourselves. I don’t know the pain of losing a spouse, I can only imagine how difficult it would be. I don’t know how it feels to be one of the nurses and doctors who are caring for patients who have the COVID-19. I don’t even know how it feels to have it, but I do know how it feels to be punched in the stomach so hard you can’t catch your breath. I wonder if that’s how it feels to have the virus. I hope I never find out.

I don’t know what it’s like to be stopped by a cop. I’ve never gotten a ticket. I don’t know what it’s like to be handcuffed or arrested. Although I know I’ve driven over the speed limit and driven under the influence of alcohol. I don’t know what it’s like to be a police-person, a store owner, a priest, a man, an executive, or a teacher to name a few occupation.

I don’t know what it’s like to be Jewish, I don’t know what it’s like to be German, Irish, African, Japanese, Italian, or any other nationality. My DNA indicates I have a little of everything in it.

I do know what it’s like to be thrust into a culture I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand because it was not part of my heritage. What it taught me was how it felt to be on the other side of things. What it taught me was that in reality, we are no different from one another. We can be as nice or hateful as we choose to be to one another. What it taught me is that there are good and bad people everywhere, and just because one person chooses to do something wrong, it doesn’t mean that the entire culture or group from which they come is responsible. What it taught me was that we could all find a way to live and understand one another. Because we are Americans and when you choose to be an American you choose to step into the melting pot that is the place where we become one.

We can not come together by finding ways to erase the past or make up for wrong doings by giving special privileges to some and not all. We can only come together by admitting our own wrongdoings and finding a way to know and understand one another with love, compassion, and respect.

I do not know the answer. I do not know the how. But I’m willing to listen, learn and love you…just the way you are.